The end of a new beginning.

And here I sit…

at Johannesburg Airport, in the same seat of the same restaurant I sat in just 12 weeks ago. Once again, I am waiting on my flight which will take me somewhere to start a new chapter of my life.

It’s funny how quickly life can change, how a few days, weeks, or months can alter your world view and change your life’s path. I am not sure what the last 12 weeks has done to my life. I may not understand the impact of my time in Uganda for weeks, months, or even years. My time was short, only one summer of my 23 years, but the things I have done…well, this is a summer to remember.

I came to Uganda to learn…to learn about the world as well as myself. I have learned a lot.

I came to understand more about the how life functions in a developing world. While once again, I have learned a lot, however my understanding is still far below what I hoped. Instead, living in Uganda gave me perspective, one that I haven’t obtained any other way.

In Uganda, I rediscovered my passion for equality, equity, and compassion. A passion not for some euphoric goals, but for progress that in a world filled with resources, with equal access to all.

I remembered the good in people. Yes, being in a country filled with corruption can make you jaded, but it only takes one person or one community who, despite unfathomable hardship, works hard every day to unselfishly help one another.

I have, for maybe the first time in my life, took a step back. I have taken the time to read, learn, and challenge my own assumptions. I have learned to think holistically about the world’s problems and appreciate the complexity of working in social services.

I have grown. I have taken the time to sit, to find peace in myself. For the first time in my life, I want nothing more than to be who I already am.

I realize that what I have learned may not come to surface until I have the ability to, through engagement with others, reflect on my time. I find my perceptions often come out vocally before I have had the opportunity to internalize them myself.

How I see life in America has changed, both in a disgust with materialism and in an appreciation for the values embodied by the American people that provide philanthropy on a global scale.  Regardless of my occasional criticism, I truly am proud to be an American.

 In full disclosure, my experience wasn't as "immerseful" as I would have liked. I lived in embassy housing, rode in an embassy car, and ate a lot of embassy food. Would I have gotten more out of my experience living in the slums, maybe. But I learned regardless of the circumstances, you can attend to your surroundings and be present with what is before you.

"The poor don't want you to look like them. They want you to dress in a suit and go get them food and water"- Paul Farmer  

I have felt compassion for a stranger and I have seen things for what they are, not only what they could be. I have been mindful, and I have eaten a lot of mangoes. And in the end...I have done all I set myself to accomplish. 

I sit here, waiting to return home more motivated than ever. To Uganda—someday I will return. To the refugees I spend 400+ hours trying to serve—I will work to find your family a home and a better life away from violence and destruction (preferably to the same home you left, but in an oasis of peace). And to every individual who’s opportunity is restricted because of where they were born, the color of their skin, or the religion they pronounce—be patient, be compassionate, and never act in retribution…for our journey has just begun.

“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.” 
― Nelson Mandela